i have made my world from logic laced with dreams. a little imagination and a shit ton of cynicism.
now pass me that gun.
"i wish shelby wasnt dead in a freezer right now" she said to me.
and i didnt know what to say.
i wish lots of things.
i wish doug wasnt laying in a coffin only miles from his house. i wish angel was alive. i wish we were all together. and i wish shelby wasnt dead in a freezer.
but i have no idea how to say it.
you called me this morning. several times. and when i saw the missed calls i figured it was something bad.
when i answered, you told me your dog had died.
and even though it's not something we want... i was glad nothing was seriously wrong.
i was ironing my shirt for work at seven AM. i was busy going to work.
ignoring the fact that you hurt.
i left and tried not to think about it.
not because i have no feelings. it's actually the exact opposite.
i dont know how to handle my emotions. so when it comes to something like this its better not to say anything sometimes. better than making an ass out of myself... even though im so good at it.
circumstance gets in the way of life, and when we want to see it again... from behind the bullet proof glass, speaking through the two way phone... we only have a brief time and then we're done.
i have never owned a pet until a few years ago. and shes not even mine. so i dont understand how it goes.
there is a closeness i will never understand.. and it spreads into my life further than just dogs.
i have no idea what im saying.
but i wish for you. that shelby wasnt dead in a freezer either.
thats no place for a memory.
