i am done asking people to go with me to the cemetery on Memorial Day, or Veterans Day, or any other time i go.
i don't want you to come to my birthday parties, or see me for christmas, or even come for thanks giving as these things mean nothing to me. i don't care if you ever come by.
i have become something that i wasn't before, and maybe that's alright.
i have waited and been disappointed. there is no more wait left in me for you.
i have so well enveloped myself in death that i feel i am the only one left to carry your flag.
i don't always go to the cemetery to be sad. i don't want you to come if it makes you uncomfortable. but do not get upset anymore if i decide not to placate your requests.
we were two, and now i am one.
i carry your flag with my bloody hands and i hide my regret with your left over smiles. i walk miles against the loneliness and nothing recovers the space that's been ripped. our eyes flickered at different intervals while i spent all my life remembering something i knew i would miss.
and when it came it destroyed me.
...sometimes things happen that change your mind. this is life.
