i had a dream last night...

i drove down the road last night. and i wanted to hear a song.

i played this song and rolled down my window and let my hand fly through the cold night air as i drove to nowhere. and back.

i thought of you.

then i remembered a familiar taste reaching the corner of my lips...

the clouds whisped by with streetlights trying to impress them with a glow that only those of us that are wandering can see.

and i tasted salt.

i had a dream last night. i woke up out of my bed and my cousin was sitting in my chair. in front of my tv. watching tv.

he was wearing a pair of tan pants and a grey shirt. his hair was short. like in the picture of him that hangs near my bed.

i sat up and we talked.

i remember asking him questions.

and laughing.

i remember smiling.


i remember not being sad... i just wanted him to tell me a story.

but the morning was trying hard to take him away, and things started to get fuzzy... hazy.

i knew i was dreaming. i always know.
even in my dreams i know it isnt real.

so i tried hard to get him to stay...

i asked him about the war... but he wouldnt answer me. he just changed the subject and looked at me with those eyes. the same eyes that he looked at me with when i got out of that taxi in okinawa. i got out of that taxi and told him to write me.

and i never saw him again.


i was feeling bad last night, and he came to me.
he never lets me down. he never did.

and all i have ever been is a bastard.

i had a dream last night... it took place in my room.

i sat up in bed and he was there... watching t.v.

and in between the words i had saved for this moment, the time erased him back to wherever he is, like waves on a beach where i had written a wish and stood by as i watched it disappear.

"...The black clouds I'm hanging
This anchor I'm dragging
The sails of memory rip open in silence
We cut through the lowlands
All hands through the saltlands
The white caps of memory
Confusing and violent

I had a dream last night..."







.i feel terrible.