dying in public

     i was on my way to do my taxes because i'm a procrastinator.

when i came across a fire truck at an intersection.
i have always had a fascination with emergency vehicles, so i was curious as to where it was going.

i followed it down the street with my eyes and noticed that at the next light there was a bright blue light and it wasn't moving.

after the truck passed i drove toward the blue light, partly because it was the way i was supposed to go, and partly because i wanted to see what had happened. i am the public.

as i pulled up to the intersection the light turned red so i had my opportunity to see what was going on.

traffic was chaotic as there was now an ambulance, several cop cars, and the fire truck on the scene. on the corners there were groups of people standing and jostling around to get a better view. in the middle of the street was a motorcycle rider and a mangled motorcycle slightly under a red truck.

the man on the ground was surrounded by EMS workers unfolding their neck braces and preparing the stretcher for transport.

the people on the corner did their best paparazzi impression with their phones and devices held up in the air like candles in a vigil where no one cares about the victim, only caring about where they're going to post those shitty video clips later on.

in my car After The Burial played a song called To Carry You Away...

"When the ocean tide has risen to high
And the waters have come to carry you away
Remember I will always be there to sing you to sleep"

the man lay there on the hot street in the view of everyone passing by, in the view of the people crowded on the streets, in the view of me.

the light turned green and i drove forward.

i did not look at the man.

but i thought to myself... you can't even die privately anymore.