.i am a drunken idiot

i'm tired of feeling like an ass.
like someone always has to be on the lookout for me.

tonight i came home drunk.

and everyone let me know.

i feel it's time to stop.

i have become my father.

i'm being honest when i say i don't want to be the guy everyone had to watch out for.

i drink because i'm upset. i drink for a purpose.

     elevator music plays in my head and i'm transported to a time when time after time played on repeat because of someone else.

i drink because i can't control it.

i drink to be closer to you.

i feel bad because i want to be alone.
because i want to walk home at 2AM,
because everyone expects this from me.

you can never win in life. i have learned to accept this.

tonight i will listen to nancy wilson and imagine it was me.
i'll imagine it was me...